It’s that time of year,
Razor blade winds
chill school stressed skin,
One-by-one, each hair springs
like a geyser
reciting the national anthem
at a ball game.
It’s that time of year,
Coffee beans consumed in
Guinness World Record nuns,
Take the gold medal from Mississippi’s
Defending champion Ramon,
6-foot Hungarian raccoon.
It’s that time of year,
According to Channel 5 news,
Where 80% of the body’s prime-time
Caffeine levels continue
to Wall Street levitate
Veins to automatically implode
And I quote,
“We pop caffeine like Adderall”
through our potty mouths,
down the esophagus,
And out the anus!
It’s that time of year,
Sleep deprivation
What is that?
Malnourishment
Who fucking cares!
It’s that time of year,
Grocery stores are rural farms,
Humanoids are livestock,
Smothering ourselves
in these farms filled with
Nitrous Oxide fumes,
Zombie insomnia from Starbucks
sunrise to Red Bull sunset,
With nothing to McDonald–
Mcmuffin–Mcstuffin ingurgitate,
but paper cans, gummies,
all lean-mean machines
to be slaughtered by farmers
whose assigned grades below
USDA Prime
Killed us all.
It’s that time of year,
we want to relax,
but it’s only Monday.